Thursday, April 5, 2007
6:30 AM
Been a few days since i blogged.well it's all cos i been busy.hahax.seriously.and wth.i just came
back frm e hosp and my op is most prob gonna get brought forward by a week.all cos i vomited
blood again yest.it started with a cough in e mrng.and alrd then i suspected sumthin was not
very right.since my temp was alrd goin thru e ceiling.hahax.am still running a fever now.but let's
hope it subsides.cos i got a jab.and it ain't for nothing right?injections hurt damn it.hahax.but
seriously.e pain on e outside is nothing compared to e pain on e inside.and it's been hurting
for since god knows when.my sickenin doc keeps on sayin that he suspects that both have
failed.and well come on man.u're a fuckin doctor for goodness sake.confirm it.dun just
suspect.cos i'm getting sick of it all.i dun give 2 hoots anyway.cos i'll noe.that i died having
everything i ever wanted.wonderful fwens.a marvelous family whom i dun always get to share
my joys and nothing of my sorrows with,a happy childhood.but a rather disturbed 1,e feeling of
being truly loved and appreciated.and wasting it all.and most of all.LOVING THE ONLY
PERSON WHOM I'M WILLING TO GIVE MY LIFE UP FOR. HER .and i dare say.i saw her on
panguni.but i din wanna bother goin near her.cos it's like she's lost everythin.the love,the
respect,the caring nature and everything for me.and i noe.it's my fault.but ass.admit it.it's urs as
well.it takes 2 hands to clap.if u want me to take all e blame.dun worry i will.if u want me to lie
that whatever i said wasn't true.i will.but u'll have to wait.cos i'll oni do it b4 e day i die.but dun
worry.i'll make sure u can live ur life like normal again.and u'll forget this bastard over here
crappin the shit outta everyone ever existed.cos i ain't lying when i said i love u.i ain't lying
when i said u're e only 1 i love.but well u chucked it all into one corner.like how ur bin was
located in ur room.u made me a mad-man.but that's all u ever did.but baby.let me just say.i
trust that i ain't gonna get u back.so be it.but if i ain't getting u back.at least wait till my demise
b4 u go to another guy.cos like i simply said.i ain't like u.i can't change my mind abt loving sum1.i
value e word.i value love.and i noe what it's capable of.i'll never forget e times i spent with u.but
heck.u'll have forgotten everything.except for e scoldings,slaps and punches.how then dare u say
that i dun love u.but i respect ur word.which was why i was so provoked cos of e tuluks.damn
it.heck imma wasting my time when i noe she won't even read all this crap.so lemme get to e
topic of panguni.wohaha.finally.i went.i raised hell and i left.hahax.din slp for 2 days.and din go
hm for as long.lolx.was so busy.just too many fwens takin kavadis.but heck.alive or dead.they
are my fwens and it's my duty to support them.so why complain.in fact it was so happening that
i wish that i had slept so that i woulda had more energy.lolx.and who woulda known that
everyone would be so shocked to see me wid my new hairdo.lolx.but well i love it so who cares
who sees and who didn't.but when i reached hm.was so sickening.wid everyone askin.was that
u.yeah damn right it was me.can't u see in my pics that my hair looks like that now.does ur
father have a hairdo like that?or does anyone u know have sumthin even similar?no right?then
wth is wrong wid u ppl.DUMB.haiz.but seriously.i can't get this disturbing thought outta my
head.WILL I EVEN LIVE TO SEE MY NEXT B'DAE?i now realise how precious life is.and that i
have totally wasted mine.it's all gone.everyone is like dependin on me.even satish.hahax.when
we were slackin yest.he told me."dei stop drinking.not for ur sake but for all our sakes.cos if u
were to die.it's not u who'll miss us.but us who'll miss u and will never be able to forget
u.serious.trust me. sg will never be e same again."and he also told me."if u die.who's gonna be
my imagination partner."lolx.tell me abt it guys.satish and i have an imagination wild enough to
make everyone crazy.hahax.we were day-dreaming abt tsunamis,earthquakes and tornadoes
hitting singapore.that might seem ok.but if 10 other ppl go."OMG.THEY START IMAGINING
ALRD"then obviously we are wild IMAGINATORS."woohoo.serious.e oni thing i lack in this life
of mine is HER.satish also told me 1 thing which really touched me.he said "dei if she's gonna
come back to u and gonna promise to be wid u thruout.i dun mind givin u my kidney."show me
sum1 more wonderful.that's why i say.we guys have got hearts.but heck.imma gonna start to
work.i wanna get 1000+and a few ppl noe for wat.lolx.i have abt 1 mth to prepare.woohoo.shud
be able to by then.i got loads more things to tok abt.but heck.my post is gettin way too long so
yeah.peace and cya'll again tml
Said that I love you.
But I have loved you all along..
